+]]c h a r m e d ...

2011-06-17T00:53:00.001+08:00

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It’s OK to stumble… . I will get up. It’s OK to fail… . I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

Today I will make a difference.

2011-06-07T03:12:00.002+08:00

there's a reason why i said i'd be happier alone.
it wasn't cause i thought i'd be happy alone.
it was because i thought if i loved someone and then it fell apart, i might not make it.

it's easier to be alone.

because, what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it?
what if you like it and lean on it?
what if you shape your life around it?
and then it falls apart. can you even survive that kind of pain?

losing love is like organ damage.
it's like dying, the only difference is death ends.
this could go on forever.

2010-12-26T03:44:00.002+08:00

just the way you are.

what an awesome rendition.

hello world, it's been awhile.

2010-05-04T13:38:00.003+08:00

the rules of intimacy.

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go
Where does the good go, where does the good go

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen

It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm,
where does the good go, Where does the good go

Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go, where does the good go

needs to stop fixating on one thing, and realise there are other things worth worrying about.

today's dream scenario:

"the entire choir is taking the same exam, but some think it's open book and others think it's a closed book exam. i end up getting kicked out of the exam to retake my exam at RJC. jerk number one comes along with me and i end up being entirely irritated by his company the entire time before the exam starts. my papers fly away into the rain, and i get drenched."

what kind of STUPID dream is this.

2010-03-31T01:13:00.003+08:00

be still. (:

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him
I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I'll be going To the place
He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
My shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul will be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders
'Round the throne At His feet I
'll lay my crowns My worship
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb
The Lord of heaven

it's been a long while, but listening to the song above just inspired me to blog something (: am constantly inspired by the idea of LOVE. the love of a father, from a boyfriend to a girlfriend, love that just loves irregardless of gender, the love of a friend, the love of strangers to others, the love of those who are difficult to love. that is possibly the hardest (: loving someone that isn't easy to love.

this has been a rather strange weekend of confessions in a park and trying to find my bearings back. but this has only reminded me that all things happen in God's time and for a good purpose. to be loved is a blessing and to go through hard times and find out that you are not alone, and that you are surrounded by people who love and support you is a blessing. to be able to start up a conversation with someone i've lost touch with because of this incident is another blessing (: and i just wanted to post this up to remind myself of that. and of course, sam chloe and pooka joy for seeing me through another one of those incidents im sure we'll be laughing about years from now.

listening to praise and worship music always calms me and soothes me. i am so thankful that i have a Father who loves me so unconditionally, that it is impossible not to share this love with those around (: i am ever so excited about Easter weekend and the weeks to come. (:

2009-12-11T14:13:00.001+08:00

pick flowers, not fights.

At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
At last

at last (:

2009-11-23T14:26:00.003+08:00

starbucks & love.

am getting really jaded by all this studying. and the worst part is i know that i'm not ready, then again who ever is ready for an arts exam? but i am SO not even ready to pass. and yet i still spent last night having heart-to-heart-talks with my dearest nabbit and my morning indulging in beautiful websites of weddings and season 3 of gossip girl <3>

on the bright side, this studying period brought about joy (: joy in the form of starbucks and studybuddies <3 and that's what i'll remember when all the exam hoo-ha is over, not the exam questions, the "crap i didn't study that", the freezing MPSHs, the cheatsheets and the anxiousness.

and some people might write off gossip girl as a teeny drama, but it speaks to me. (: not the sheer decadence or their opulent lifestyles, but in the little acts of love. and i hope in 30 years, i'll still feel the way i do now about love and soulmates and not be jaded, like the way i am about my studies. (:

blair: how can you be so sure?
chuck: because you believe in me.

and some last random snippets:
1. the name chuck is really growing on me (:
2. i've been having weird dreams, maybe i should just blog out every weird dream i have, and psychoanalyze my dreams when exams are over and done with.

today's dream scenario:

"me and H are leads in a school musical (: he falls off the stage during his rehearsal and i forget all my lines and proceed to get scolded by the musical director."

2009-11-19T13:02:00.002+08:00

ain't no other man but you.

supposed to be studying, dont really have a study schedule, but i think i'm behind! haha (: but somehow, this year's exams seem more relaxed. or perhaps more jaded. the so what mentality is just there, so what if i can't finish my readings, okie that is a bad thought to have! brawrgh.

been listening to all sorts of acoustic versions of songs and i think the guitar is amazing! (: not that the piano isn't, but you cant pack up a piano and move around. play songs randomly on the street.

and if you're out there studying and need some encouragement, here's ellen degeneres @ tulane university's commencement speech (:

(:

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia

now if only i could trade my sleep for study time.

2009-11-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all

When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

perfect song for a new day (:

2009-11-17T01:59:00.005+08:00

am utterly amazed by people like Stevie Wonder (: whose song inspires me to continue studying though i'm tired. blind since birth, he has gone on to win 22 grammy awards! (: blessed man indeed.

Everybody's got a thing
But some don't know how to handle it
Always reachin' out in vain
Accepting the things not worth having but

Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama
Cause I'll be standing on the side
When you check it out

They say your style of life's a drag
And that you must go other places
But just don't you feel too bad
When you get fooled by smiling faces but

Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama
Cause I'll be standing on the side
When you check it out...Yeah
When you get it off...your trip
Don't you worry 'bout a thing...Yeah
Don't you worry 'bout a thing...Yeah

Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, mama
Cause I'll be standing on the side
When you check it out...
When you get it off...your trip

Everybody needs a change
A chance to check out the new
But you're the only one to see
The changes you take yourself through

Don't you worry 'bout a thing
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, pretty mama
Cause I'll be standing in the wings
When you check it out

Don't you worry 'bout a thing

i realised that i can never love enough with my human love. another revelation at 2 in the morning. and it's all the more when i try to, that i fail. and yet i don't ever turn to You for help when i'm at my wits end of trying. i'm tired of not being at peace with myself, feeling insecure over the littlest things, tired of worrying bout the complexities human love brings.

through it all, i know You love me (:

2009-11-15T19:24:00.003+08:00

“Are you the happiest and the saddest right now that you’ve ever been?”
“Of course I am.”
“Why?”
“Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

(The History of Love, Nicole Krauss).

whoosh. so much for hello readings, but yes. this one is from lings. (: spent 20 minutes re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reading breaking dawn in anticipation of the upcoming new moon movie (: and i had a small revelation.

i want to find you, whoever you are. you who makes me happier than anything else, and has the power to make me sadder than everything else, but hopefully does his best not to. (:

2009-11-15T19:01:00.002+08:00

agape.

just came back from family dinner (: mom is home and she apparently bought alot of bags but cannot show me while dad is in the house. hmm.

was bloghopping and came upon this entry from my dearest margit. hope she doesn't mind me pasting it here (:

"why is it we cannot obtain peace without God?

we all have a longing in our hearts. a longing for peace that things of the world cannot satisfy. for example, we all have anxieties. things that nothing and no one can fully understand. friends and family are busy about their own lives, they don’t have that perfect love to empathise, nor do they have the power to change anything. and sometimes, they make promises that they break, because they not perfect.

but with our perfect, powerful God, i know that anything is possible. i feel at peace because i know that He completely understands, He can change anything and He can be trusted. and i feel so powerful with the knowledge that He has my best interests at heart :) and whatever unfolds, it’s for my good.

this keeps me at peace. it’s a peace i cannot explain. "

i don't really know how i feel about the entry, but its comforting (: comforting to know that despite it all, our limitations, our imperfections, we need not worry because we have someone so perfect, so loving, so powerful to handle it all for us. instead of worrying, crying, complaining, stressing, i should just trust in Him. then again, trust is not an easy thing either.

in the meantime, it's goodbye gallivanting and hello horrendous readings.

2009-11-15T02:11:00.005+08:00

i thank you God for
most this amazing day.

what started out as a send bbf off at the airport, turned into a wonderful day off gallivanting in chili padi (: and luckily so, because mom's home and has re-claimed her car by throwing all my things out and putting back all her taichi swords. haah (: it's alright, i had the most lovely two weeks with chilipadi (red honda jazz.) (:

after having popeyes' with bbf and sending him into the departure hall, we took a trip down to the changi chapel museum, then to changi village, changi hospital, back to my place, goofed around with sam chloe's new camera, had teochew porridge and touhuay for dinner (: and then gallivanted all the way back home (: listening to music in the car, singing at the top of our lungs, and driving down tanjong pagar! (:

super lovely evening to start off the reading week. HAHA (: yes reading week.

just dance,
gonna be okay.

oh and on a sidenote, both of pooka joy's bday surprise celebrations went extremely well (: two surprises for the 22 year old (: amazing what kind of surprises you can pull together when you work with the right people (:

and im having party planning withdrawal symptoms : ( but, it is time for a surprise planning hiatus (:

2009-11-13T18:31:00.004+08:00

tea for two.

celebrated fel's 22nd with high tea at shangri-la's rose veranda (: absolutely lovely 3 hours spent which brought me out of my funk. was worried i wouldn't be able to enjoy it and spoil fel's bday, but in the end it was the best therapy ever (: we indulged in ONE HUNDRED AND TWO TEAS! omg 102 teas : ) sadly, we only got to taste 4, caribbean summer, roiboish chocolate heaven, soft peach and strawberry fields (: and all the food, salmon sashimi galore. and i dont even like sashimi, but whoosh, dunno what kind of salmon they had, it won me over temporarily (:

here are some pictures i stole from a food blog (:

and we were such high tea noobs! : ( hahaha eating so ungracefully amongst the flurry of angmoh wives and rich taitais, bored children with their ipods and a few business lunches here and there. not to be presumptous! haha but i think we had the most fun out of everyone there. everyone else looks so proper and rigid. OOPS.

happy birthday fel (: love you always xiaomei!

2009-11-12T19:23:00.007+08:00

(500) ways we love peimin.

attempted to re-create peimin's favourite scene from (500) days of summer.

coupled with my favourite sparkly lights photo i found online.

plus alot of amazing friends who took time out to celebrate a very special girl's 21st birthday, and tadah (:

photos going up on fb like spitfire, but these are some of my personal favourites. one of the few events i chose to let others take photos, and attempted to stay out of photos. i feel oddly detached from the whole thing. worried and worried and panicked and panicked, tried to keep up with the party, but i cracked.

the only thing i know is that im so grateful for all the help i received (: friends who were there to break my fall. which makes me feel this small, because i didn't do anything at all. and i dont feel it. the whoosh at the end of a job well done. which only means one thing, i didnt do a good job.

did stupid stuff last night, which i only shared with xiaomei over high tea at shangri-la. just want to bury myself and not meet anyone for a good month.

get me outta here,
cos my eyes are burning from these silly tears,
that you brought when you showed me you don't really care.

2009-11-04T04:41:00.002+08:00

i got you, babe.

im literally home alone. brother's in camp, dad's on course in jb, and mom has left for france for two weeks. when my dad first said he had to go on course, i was jumping around in my head, 4 days of solitude and the house all to myself. but when i came home just now, i just felt awfully alone. who knew their presence in their individual rooms could make such a difference?

cant seem to fall asleep everytime im alone. so here i am, thinking about life as usual (: heard this really amazing new song, and it keeps speaking to me. along with every other line i've heard today.

I'm sitting across from you
I'm dreaming of the things I'd do
I don't speak, you don't know me at all

For fear of what you might do
I say nothing
But stare at you
And I'm dreaming, I'm tripping over you

Truth be told, my problem's old
You mean the world to me but you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
Why go risking the way that I see you
That I see you, that I see you, that I see you,

Conversation's not me at all
I'm hesitating, only to fall
And I'm weighted, I'm hating everyone

Could it be...you feel for me?
In any possible similarity
If it's so, how would I know?
You'll never know me at all...

But I see you...

"I'm standing across from you
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do

Truth be told, my problem's old
You mean the world to me, but you'll never know
You could be cruel to me
Why go risking the way that I see you

That I see you...

I'm standing across from you
I've dreamt alone now the dreams won't do

But I see you, but I see you, but I see you...

hauntingly beautiful. (: i wish my family was home.

2009-10-31T03:14:00.002+08:00

syndicate.

it's 3am, still got an essay to do, but all i can do is sit here and listen to the rain and think. badgered joy to send me this song by the fray and i've been listening to it over and over again. (: the fray is always good for a night like this.

Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
First thing that arises in your mind while you awake
Is bending you til you break
Let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Baby don't forget
You haven't lost it all yet

Don't know what your made of
Til the one thing that you want
To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same
But all we've lost to the flame
Listen to me now

Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet

Someday when this is over
We may still have no answer
For now it's when I hold ya
We are closer, we are closer
We are closer, we are closer

Baby close your eyes
Don't open til the morning light
Don't ever forget
We haven't lost it all yet
And all we know for sure
Is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget
We haven't lost it all yet

hmm, maybe there is no answer to the question now. but, we haven't lost it all yet. (:

2009-10-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

time of our lives.

slightly more than a year ago, we took this photo.

now, one year later (: almost all, sans number one darling, pohster, rach.

what now?

2009-10-23T23:55:00.004+08:00

postsecret.

happiness is something we create, how sociological. (:

sadly, the weather is not making me happy. right about now, i wish i could teleport myself to some cold country and be snuggly wrapped up in parkas and scarves (sth like a emma watson burberry ad).

and random as it is, i realised it really is the small things that count. a morning jog with a friend, a 2 hour msn conversation with a person i thought wasn't possible, a box of life-changing jellybeans, a car ride of 7 noisy people, a 1.5 hour phone conversation with neurotic queen, an SMS saying "i've found you earphones for your iphone" (i lost both my earphones.), a random impromptu supper of teochew porridge.

and yet at the same time, it's also the little things that hurt the most.

but i guess that's just life (:

2009-10-23T01:34:00.002+08:00

tamer of dark stars.

parents found another article of us singing for Project Hope in the Today paper (: so lovely! haha (: in a generally happy mood because today we learnt WALIYH (: singing it just brings me back to 21st June 2008, when we were on the stage of the glinka capella in st. petersburg, russia (: sighs. went to re-watch the youtube video of our competition for the god-knows how many-eth time (: and it still sends chills up my spine.

to st. petersburg, with love <3

still have no idea what the song means, but the lyrics are lovely.

With a lily in your hand
I leave you, o my night love!
Little widow of my single star,
I find you.

Tamer of dark butterflies!
I keep along my way
After a thousand years have gone
you'll see me, o, my night love!

By the blue footpath,
tamer of dark stars.
I'll make my way.
Until the universe can fit inside my heart.

alright (: am gonna hibernate at home over the next few days to finish my essay(s). : ( yes, plural.

love love love this line. "until the universe can fit inside my heart." (:

2009-10-21T14:23:00.002+08:00

don't let me go.

some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go

Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before

Don't let me go
Don't let me go

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go

there's nothing like The Fray (: to help you reflect on life. am quickly finishing up my assignment for wedding class. it's a one page paper on our counselling module and it's really getting me thinking about life in general and how friendships are all about proximity unless you make an effort.

but other than that, am still oddly aching from the one night of stardom (: somehow managed to pull through a day of classes yesterday and YAY (: one presentation down. only 1 more presentation and 4 more essays to hand up before 4 final exams (: hahaha and it's the end of year 4 semester 1 (:

alright, aim to finish the assignment by 3pm.

2009-10-20T19:31:00.005+08:00

hope for humanity. (:

nuschoir was lucky enough to sing for Project Hope yesterday and it was so much fun (: in fact it was too much fun, it shouldnt even be considered a gig, bcos it was so fun (: okie that doesnt make sense (: but (: sighs, so many lovely moments to document through the whole night, major cam-whoring going on. let's see, what were some of the highlights of the night (:

singing the theme song for the finale definitely (: by then none of us could be bothered to be compassionate, i think we were just genuinely happy to be there. keep hearing about human rights in soci class and this need to do something about it, and finally last night, was kind of a small way of contributing back i guess. doesnt matter the wearing of heels for the whole day, singing the same song over and over again, taking direction from a not very articulate stage director HAHA (: but even the nonsense sections of it made the event lovely (:

oh and we were so well taken care of (: hair and makeup everything done for us! (: being in the same seats as taufik batisah, michelle chong and the rest of the artistes AHHHH (: sighs. forever am spoilt by the presence of a hair&makeup team. and all the stars, i used to think who cares bout local artistes, but when u're surrounded by them, this weird NEED to take photos and go all gaga over them overwhelms me (: hahaha, so there we were, shamelessly asking for photos from everyone, running up to them and stopping their way, interrupting them through their conversations with others (: BUT TADAH (: photos with daren from project superstar, singapore idols, taufik batisah and many more (:

but i think my favourite moment was when we were just standing around, waiting for our turn to go on stage, and we randomly started singing "we can change the world". there was like an AH-HAH moment, as shamil would put it. where you realise that what you're doing extends beyond yourself and what you initially thought was just a performance turns out to be so much more than that.

definitely a night to remember <3

2009-10-19T10:16:00.001+08:00

you give me wings.

PROJECT HOPE.
CHANNEL 5 & SURIA.
19th OCT 2009.
830PM.
THE NUSChoir. (:

2009-10-17T18:53:00.002+08:00

iphone 4G?

whoosh. michelle LOVES apple (:

2009-10-17T18:19:00.003+08:00

runaway, love.

part of me cant wait for india, and part of me thinks its gonna be the scariest ride of my life. plus, i havent told my parents yet. well, i tried to tell mom, and she was like "WHYYYYY INDIA?" "TOO SCARY". "DISCUSS WITH YOUR FATHER FIRST." to which i didn't, haha, and just submitted my forms anyway. anw, its still all up in the air till i get an internship with a company in india first anyhows. so, shall cross that bridge when we get to it (:

on the brightside, i was worried bcos the july batch going to india only had 6 people! : ( and if we got posted to 6 different places in india, then we'd all be alone in a house going to work everyday for 6 mths : ( but when i woke up from my afternoon nap, god blessed me with a fb post from amelia saying she's now going for the july batch too! (:

shall keep documenting random things about india i want to see here. was watching some travel&living show about india, and they say you must wear black bras, bcos all other bra colours will turn black eventually. HMM.

for now, i'd like to go visit UDAIPUR (: the venice of the east.

and hopefully volunteer at the Aravind Eye Hospital in Madurai (:

anw, (: been recently introduced to THE FUN THEORY. (: which states that you can change people's behaviours as long as you make it fun (: go check it out!

sighs (: okay i've slept the entire afternoon away. the perfect waste of time. and i must finish my part for my law&justice presentation on tues by tonight (:

and before i forget!

THE NUSChoir will be performing for Project Hope (: Channel 5, 830pm, 19th Oct, Monday (:

2009-10-13T11:43:00.001+08:00

(: one word, wow.

2009-10-12T11:26:00.002+08:00

twice this past week, i fell asleep somewhere other than my own bed, and both times, it was comforting to know that there were friends who made sure i had a blanket (:

just something small to start off a new week (:

at jasmine's now! need to finish this reading before 1230 (: bye!

2009-10-11T20:54:00.008+08:00

what is love? (:

i don't know what LOVE is actually (: but i am excited about it. am excited bout stories of love, acts of love, the whole concept of love (: even basking in the spillover from other people's love lives is happiness in itself. (:

as expected, school work was totally secondary this past weekend, and i dont care! (: finally met up with my girls from hall for aoba ramen at ion (: the queue was ridiculously long : ( but it was not bad (: before that i went errand shopping for my dearest tyra banks!

so happy angietanpie has moved much closer to me (: and ah foo is like working at kovan! we shall have more gatherings while we are still friends (: btw serene if u're reading this, i love our last photo! (:

after that, dad sent me to harris' place so we could help tyra with project 10.10.09 (: ended up oversleeeping the next day and being bloody late for choir practice. went for the World Against Death Penalty talk at oxford hotel after. it was surprisingly insightful. i think it's kinda sad that i have no intrinsic motivation to attend such talks. if not for a paper i have to write, i doubt i'd step anywhere near activities of civil activism. but all in all (: i think i am ON THE FENCE ABOUT THE DEATH PENALTY. im not sure if i have any faith in any criminal justice system anymore though, that's for sure.

had a little bit of time to kill, so we went for a drink somewhere in chinatown and it's so pretty (: okay maybe not pretty, but quaint. like old meets new juxtaposition. (:

and finally the long awaited event! (: the SNGS MOONLIGHT PARTY <3

sheena came by in chevo picked us up and we made our way back to our dearest alma mater. SNGS is simply home la (: the place we grew up, made our first mistakes, fell in love with singing and made some lifelong friendships (: just being back there brings back all sorts of memories, happy ones, fights we had, the rooms we studied in, the track we ran on, the grass we plucked, the food we ate (:

in usual sngs fashion, we bought more sngs memorabilia, queued up for 40 mins for ORANGE BOWL! (haha, yes in sngs we refer to our canteen stalls by the colour of their bowls.), ate free mooncakes, sang songs in the sing-along session, walked around the track, camwhored and we danced the family dance! (: hahah the one dance that we did every monday for assembly and any other school event. its so nostalgic and somehow we can still remember how to do it, so there we were on the track dancing our silly steps (:

we have obviously gotten old though cos we were damn tired after, and we ended up at the casuarina for egg-cheese-beyond-cheesy pratas and lassis-that-taste-like-pampers (:

thank you chevo & sheena for the lift home! ootgr needs to roadtrip asap and sing nonsense bsb songs (:

here are some photos,

alright, im gonna regret not doing my work. damage control time (: last minute sleepover at jasmine's in 20 mins!

oh yes before i go, while searching for nice music for tyra's project 10.10.09, i chanced upon this song and thought it was pretty sweet (: take a listen if you're looking for a nice love song (:

2009-10-11T11:32:00.001+08:00

we're something more than momentary. (:

totally loving the song "You're Making My Dreams Come True" by Hall & Oates (: a totally feel-good song to wake up to in the morning (: alright the continuation of a lovely weekend. am late for lunch with michelle tan zhong xian! (:

2009-10-09T16:30:00.003+08:00

(500) days of summer. <3

have you ever watched a movie and loved it from start to end, but when you left, you couldn't really remember any of the details? i once read somewhere that the best date you can ever be on, is when you can't remember anything specific, but the whole date just feels fuzzy, in a good way of course. this movie is exactly like that. i wanna watch it again and again (and again...) (:

what i do remember is this dance sequence (: which i absolutely loved! hahahaha a little musical number amidst an otherwise already perfect film (:

today's movie theme seemed like films chosen to be screened at the International Sundance Festival (:

(500) days of summer with peimin and yuans, that's this year's entry for the Sundance Festival (: and in the morning i watched the 2004 entry called DEADLINE (: it doesnt deserve a smiley face bcos it's about the death penalty and the flaws in the criminal justice system. but i still loved it anw. (: think im finally beginning to see some sense about what im studying.

shall leave you with this quote from the happier movie of the day (:

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

2009-10-09T02:28:00.003+08:00

come grow old with me,
the best is yet to be.

just some of the photos from a little impromptu picnic we had back at kent ridge park (: it was just lovely. rho brought us to this treetop bridge thing with a pretty amazing view and we made it back to the pavilion to seek shelter RIGHT before it poured (: so there we were, with our subways and old chang kees and cupcakes, enjoying some quiet time amidst a school week.

anyway, i havent said much about this semester's chamber singers class i realised. but i am definitely loving it more and more (: this year's theme is LIGHT, all songs revolving around this idea of light. cannot wait for the final concert ((: here are the lyrics to one of the songs we're singing, O Nata Lux.

O nata lux de lumine,
Jesu redemptor saeculi,
Dignare clemens supplicum
Laudes precesque sumere.

Qui carne quondam contegi
Dignatus es pro perditis,
Nos membra confer effici
Tui beati corporis.

alright busy weekend (:

MOVIE WITH THE POOKA GIRLS <3.
dinner with hall girls (:
1st nuschoir prac @ sscc of the semester.
human rights talk at oxford hotel
the SNGS MOONLIGHT PARTY (:

oh, and if there's time, 4 essays and 2 presentations. (:

hahahaha, i almost forgot, at wedding class we were supposed to describe our fantasy wedding and what it would be like if money was no object (: i would love to marry a pilot, have our wedding at a private runway or airstrip, followed by a party on a completely refurnished aeroplane, before we all fly off with our friends and family to an exotic location for a 3D2N getaway (:

that is if money was no object. (:

2009-10-06T23:25:00.001+08:00

"Congratulations! We are pleased to advise that your application to participate in Experience India 2010 is successful and we would like to invite you for the first get-together of the selected February, May and July batches on Tuesday 13 Oct 09. "

yayyyyyyyyyyyy (: taj mahal, here i come!

2009-10-04T17:09:00.002+08:00

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

and i'm just rolling home into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

this song spoke to me today (: to any one out there with a broken heart, this song's for you (:

2009-10-04T02:44:00.003+08:00

rebirth.

slept over at jasmine's house last night in preparation for her water baptism today (: ended up not studying, and getting thrashed by her in Wii rabbids and watching princessprotectionprogramme (: here are some of the photos from the event! congrats dearest jasmine eng! (:

this is a slightly random one, but more gerald! (: saw the cutest dog wearing shoes! hahaha (: im gonna buy mojo 2 pairs when i find out what his shoe size is and where to buy.

(: happy mid-autumn festival.

finally caught a bit of F1 Rocks on tv, and im so glad i didn't pay $200 to go down to fortcanningpark and squeeze with all everyone else (: today was my teevee catchup day and omg the MY SWEET 16 UK MARATHON is so funnyyyy. in a i cant believe there are kids out there this spoilt way.

and on a random sidenote, i am dreaming of a summer holiday in greece already! HHAHAHA (; oh crap, maybe i do have a little bit of a spoilt sweet 16 in me.

2009-10-02T19:30:00.015+08:00

who's stopping you?

no one, that is. who is stopping me from being a better friend? or a better daughter, a better student? a better human being. no one. find myself saying i wanna do this, wanna do that, wanna make up for this, try harder for that, wish i hadn't done this, damn why did i do that, and i finally realised, that the only one stopping me from being who i want to be is me. (:

my, what a revelation huh michelle (: oh well.

havent blogged in awhile and this week has been slightly crazy, with NOC round 2 interview and IT1004 MTT and PS2249 presentation (: luckily it's all over and i spent my friday nua-ing and thinking about life as usual. i think the 1st two went pretty alright, but the presentation. HAHA. as much as i'd like to put all the blame on my grp mates for the presentation, i realised that everyone has a share in it. so its alright. live and let live (:

here are some of the things that have whizzed past me during the mid term break (:

good times as usual with ootgr <3 failed project ouch, teochew porridge with fel, trip to pulau NTU, indonesian food (:

of course, our yearly pilgrimage to nadnad's house for hari raya (: with an exponential increase in good food this year and familiar faces from the WE peeps. following which me and yuans dashed to the indoor stadium to usher for IL DIVO (: hahah no photos of that, but it was a lovely show, and rachel's first show as a SIS usher (: welcome to the SIS ushering family dear!

and our second outing to the "under the banyan tree" series at the national museum (: still rmb it was exactly one year ago i was under the same tree with the funcomm 08/09 people watching the sound of music with the sound of F1 cars zooming by in the distant. same field, same tree, different movie, different company but still the same loveliness (:

also realised that the best things in life are always unplanned and they dont have to be expensive. like a trip to the doctor's at UHWC, where i was so blessed to get a really nice doctor and a LOT of free medicine (: hahaha, and a wrong turn in frog led me to a really wonderful sanctuary right in the middle of NUS. (:

other things that amused me this semester,

did macdonald's die for our sins too?

and one lovely friday evening, i met up with my dearest astatine girls to go watch kim at LAW FOUR (: lovely night of catching up at al-ameen, dodging bullets by changing seats, and watching kim and roughly sing and act their hearts out (: kinda makes me wish i'd dare to take part in something like that, haha something high school musical-esque.

and the friday before that was our night out with rhorho (: where we indulged in turkish food and music by the bay at the esplanade.

and the random meetups in school, outside school (: project DS at spinelli's buying momo's bday cake, post-presentation breakfast with buddy, tyra and bbf (: htht at amoy street (:

and i finally managed to meet up with my dearest serene toh (: who has been living in pulau NTU the past 6 weeks of school. we attempted to bake biscotti, which turned out more like ROCKS. but nonetheless people said they tasted nice, i wonder if they feel obliged to say that hahahaha (:

and one of my highlights of the semester i think, hahah attending THE LOST HORIZON wedding showcase with my dearest limpeimin (: and our "husbands" for the day, gerald and harris ang (: a lovely afternoon of cocktails&mocktails and canapes and immersing ourselves into the world of Shangri-la created by our dearest wedding lecturer, caroline. and a slightly OVER THE TOP fashion show (: think ill just let the photos speak for themselves (:

one long blog post to make up for my lack of entries, brother is waiting for me to go to the airport (: gonna go to jasmine's house to "study" and then attend her water baptism tmr! (: so exciting!

Soon and very soon
I'll be going To the place
He has prepared for me
There my sin erased
My shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

ever grateful for his presence in my life (:

2009-09-23T23:47:00.002+08:00

hallelujah.

(: one of my favourite songs, sung by il divo.

2009-09-22T04:09:00.002+08:00

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness
And crowned with love
When I see Him, I shall be made like Him
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me
Then my sin erased, my shame forgotten
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Soon and very soon
See the procession
The angels and the elders round the thrown
At His feet I'll lay
My crowns, my wishes
Soon and very soon

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

this song has been on my mind the past week, everytime i wanted a song for the ride home, or just felt down or sad, i'd play this in the car. listen to it 3 times over and over again till i reached home. i don't really know what happened, but once again, i lost a friendship in a day. and i'm tired. so so tired.

everytime i stop doing something, or have a moment to breathe and think, i'll remember the words you said and end up in this spiral down to sadness.

i just need distractions, distractions at least till someone is able to offer me a solution to this situation.

2009-09-21T12:40:00.002+08:00

glee.

glee
–noun
open delight or pleasure; exultant joy; exultation.

2009-09-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

the ticking time bomb scenario.

The ticking time bomb scenario is a thought experiment that has been used in the ethics debate over whether torture can ever be justified.

Simply stated, the consequentialist argument is that nations, even those such as the United States that legally disallow torture, can justify its use if they have a terrorist in custody who possesses critical knowledge, such as the location of a time bomb or a weapon of mass destruction that will soon explode and cause great loss of life.

the torture presentation is finally over and yet, i find that i have my own personal ticking time bomb. it's around me, i know it'll explode if i push the wrong button, and yet there's nothing i can do about it. i don't know how to prevent it from going off, how to rectify the mess made afterwards and i always feel like im in the wrong, because i let it go off.

i really dont like the feeling of being walked out on, whatever the reason is.

2009-09-11T03:19:00.002+08:00

rest.

O Earth, lie heavily upon her eyes;
Seal her sweet eyes weary of watching, Earth;
Lie close around her; leave no room for mirth
With its harsh laughter, nor for sound of sighs.
She hath no questions, she hath no replies,
Hush'd in and curtain'd with a blessèd dearth
Of all that irk'd her from the hour of birth;
With stillness that is almost Paradise.
Darkness more clear than noonday holdeth her,
Silence more musical than any song;
Even her very heart has ceased to stir:
Until the morning of Eternity
Her rest shall not begin nor end, but be;
And when she wakes she will not think it long.

havent really heard the rest of the new vv10 repertoire, but this might well be my favourite new song of the series (: TORTURE WAS TORTUROUS. but post presentation gallivanting was fun (: shall update again when im less woozy. sleep-deprivation is a form of torture itself. and i shall rectify it now (:

2009-09-07T20:57:00.004+08:00

forever on the dancefloor.

just felt like posting some of the photos from lulu and violet's second outing (: long overdue photos from the national day observance ceremony and our mini europe outing to the barrage!

and probably my favourite photo out of the bunch, caught entirely by accident,

and the entire week was filled with ootgr-ish activities,

first attempt to achieve project ouch! which failed : ( but led to us having lovely indonesian food at lucky plaza. followed by an outing to pulau NTU to visit our dearest jasmine eng (: and finally the completion of project ouch! (: hahaha, poor sheenabanana, we'll go back in two weeks to follow up on her project ouch. (:

the ideas of friendship and love have been on my mind. plus the fact that i cant seem to get enough sleep because everytime i fall asleep, ill start having these weird dreams. okay, i think i should faster finish my human rights presentation (: think about life again later.

2009-09-04T03:32:00.002+08:00

But I can't spell it out for you,
No, its never gonna be that simple

in times of emo-ness, its nice to know there are people around to listen to my nonsensical emo rants and put up with my irrational behaviour. (:

i know they are reading this blog, so i just wanted to say thank you dearest "LOOKS LIKE GOOD WIFE MATERIAL" for always knowing how to cheer me up, sending me crazy videos, analyzing my problems with such attention only deserved for tutorials and for the endless encouraging words (: and to the other YOU, yes this time it's you, (: choose to be happy and thanks for loving me for who i am.

shall leave you with this clip that cheered me up immensely (:

2009-09-02T10:23:00.003+08:00

happy birthday margit (:

sheena says: (10:20:26 AM) are u in sch

michelle says: (10:20:29 AM) home.
michelle says: (10:20:30 AM) (:
michelle says: (10:20:32 AM) going sch at 12.

sheena says: (10:20:36 AM) ah
sheena says: (10:20:40 AM) with frog

michelle says: (10:20:48 AM) yuppp.

sheena says: (10:20:50 AM) its theme song shall be little froggie sing and song

michelle says: (10:20:55 AM) HAHAHHA.

sheena says: (10:21:05 AM) does frog have a birthday!
sheena says: (10:21:17 AM) we shld celebrate its birthday with a 20-part canon and a big froggie cake

michelle says: (10:22:11 AM ) WHAT!? do we need to give frog presents?

sheena says: (10:23:25 AM ) hahahahhaha
sheena says: (10:23:32 AM) i was gg to say give frog fresh coat of paint
sheena says: (10:23:37 AM) diff shades of green

michelle says: (10:23:54 AM) i like the 20 part canon.

sheena says: (10:24:25 AM) croak croak croack croak
sheena says: (10:27:32 AM) hahahhaha
sheena says: (10:27:38 AM) u know i think when u change car..
sheena says: (10:27:41 AM) a lot of ppl are gg to be sad

michelle says: (10:27:53 AM) : )
michelle says: (10:27:55 AM) so sweet!
michelle says: (10:29:10 AM) hahahahah (:
michelle says: (10:29:15 AM) when that day comes.
michelle says: (10:29:22 AM) we'll have a farewell party (:

sheena says: (10:30:41 AM) HAHAHA
sheena says: (10:30:41 AM) ok
sheena says: (10:30:43 AM) real party ah

that's why i love you sheenabanana (: happy birthday!

2009-08-31T11:01:00.002+08:00

honey bee.

I am a honey bee
Shown out from the colony
And they won’t let me in
So I left the hive
They took away all my stripes
And broke off both my wings
So I’ll find another tree
And make the wind my friend
I’ll just sing with the birds
They’ll tell me secrets off the mark

But my other honey bee
Stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I’ll come save you
Even if it means I’ll have to face the queen

So I’ll come prepared
My new friends say they would help me
Get my loved one back
They say it isn’t right
The bees have control of your mind
But I choose not to believe that
So we’ll meet in the darkness of the night
And I’ll promise I will be there on time
We’ll be guided by my new friends the butterflies
Bring us back to our own little hive

Oh my other honey bee
No longer stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I have saved you
And now that you’re with me
We can make our own honey

such a lovely song (: yesterday i felt this small. just because you said something, and i didnt disagree. and no, peppering it with hahas and smileys doesn't make it any nicer.

2009-08-30T14:45:00.003+08:00

its the perfect day to stay home and be emo : ( i miss how it used to be.

f I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you, After you
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

2009-08-23T15:52:00.001+08:00

bitter heart.

Sun rays come down as seen
when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they
fall down down down.
I wait for you:
it's been two hours now,
You're still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate
waiting around 'round 'round,

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

And then you come and tell me the
same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.

Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum,
doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum,
da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine,
of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

lovely happy emo song, for a lovely happy emo sunday (:

2009-08-21T19:14:00.003+08:00

bom cheese.

lovely photos from jasmine's bday! (: hahaha, love you girls so much!

and before you know it, 2 weeks of school have just flown by. (: pretty happy with my modules this sem! (: doing human rights, law and justice, singapore politics, chamber singers!, and intro to e-commerce (: although so far in all, im not sure how much ive been paying attention, but ill definitely be paying more attn in the lvl 4000s because, let's face it, it's lvl 4000!!! and i think its my first time in a long while taking a module alone, and its quite scary! : ( i miss you serene and xiaoxuan! but the fellow soci honours students are pretty friendly, so i guess its alright (:

just that having a buddy there would make it more perfect. i dunno how people do it actually, i cant even eat lunch alone.

(: went for class with peimin and yuans just now and we ended up laughing at our lecturer and doodling instead.

michelle wonders if one event can change how things are forever. she also wonders if she's overthinking AGAIN.

2009-08-20T02:18:00.002+08:00

sing, i love you so.

i love my nuschoir family. (: that's the thought i had after driving around for 2 hours (partly driving, partly tyra, occasionally momo steering.) but yah, i do. i really really really love my nuschoir family. reading a handwritten letter from my dearest peimin really brought back all the good memories, made the low points seem relative insignificant.

had this resolution to not go on msn after coming home so i'd sleep earlier, but yah. just felt like noting it down. that despite it all, i love my choir family. (: despite the harsh words, the tears, the disagreements, the misunderstandings. the sadness of seniors leaving, the arrival of lovely juniors (: we definitely aren't the perfect choir, nor was i a perfect leader, but i learnt alot, found alot of support and received an overwhelming amount of love <3.

this is one of those wish i could freezeframe moments. and it's not like today was a particularly spectacular day of choir-ness or anything. but its just a thought on my mind.

if you are reading this blog limpeimin! (: I LOVE YOU TOO!

alright, human rights class at 10. SLEEP.

2009-08-19T02:42:00.002+08:00

LUKE: hey..
LORELAI: what?
LUKE: you know i love you, right?
LORELAI: i really need to hear that once in awhile.

2009-08-17T00:42:00.002+08:00

a little piece of home (:

second week of school but im so happy because i found this song which just puts a smile on my face (: my favourite song done by a cute boy HAHA. (: on the other hand, am so far from finishing my room cleaning project. which is bad because if i dont clean my room, i wont study, and if i dont study i'll definitely fail. hmmm.

2009-08-16T15:19:00.002+08:00

alzheimer's.

just in case im old and ive fogotten everything, these have been gratefully koped from forever friend's blog so in the future i can relive my wonderful youth (: that is, if the internet and blogger hasn't died on mankind (:

ootgr picnic at the barrage (: right before school started! 10th august 2009.

ootgr at changi coast road (:

am super inspired by foreverfriend's decision to pick up a new instrument. and i keep saying i wanna learn the guitar, but i've never gotten around to it. (: i must! before i graduate (: someone teach me pls (: realised i bought the guitar already, and my dad even bought me books, but i never started. hmm. i shall watch more jason mraz to inspire me (:

it's our god forsaken right to be loved. (:

2009-08-16T03:45:00.003+08:00

i know You love me.

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my ways
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now (x2)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done (x2)

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
Oh.. I know You love me

this song has been on my mind the past few days, not sure why but yah. find myself singing it as i walk to the car or am just in the room doing something. (: just came back from surprising dearest jasmine eng for her birthday. (: am always reminded about her growth in church and im so proud of her for that (:

on a sidenote, in the span of 4 hours, i've had 2 boyfriend-trouble related conversations. what's up with boys nowadays. cant live with them, cant live without them (: possibly why i dont feel any sense of urgency to get attached or see the need to. but i guess it is nice to have someone in your life who loves you unconditionally (: then again, does having a boyfriend mean you're receiving unconditional love?

still believe that there's only one person who can love us unconditionally, despite sociology telling me otherwise (: thanks for putting this song in my heart. (:

happy 22nd birthday jasmine (:

you tore the veil,
you made the way.

2009-08-15T14:42:00.003+08:00

how great thou art.

waking up to find that the YEOH residence is full is nice (: kinda rare to have all of us in the house at the same time nowadays. plus this clip that buddy sent to me (: lovely start to the saturday!

and before i forget, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE ENG (: may your carebear family increase exponentially. (:

okay PLAN CLEAN UP MY ROOM STARTS at 3pm.

2009-08-14T23:24:00.002+08:00

hold forever humanity spellbound.

Words
A letter and a letter on a string
Will hold forever humanity spellbound

Words
Possession of the beggar and the king
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Regarded as a complicated tool
Created by man, implicated by mankind

Words
Obsession of the genius and the fool
Everybody, everyday,
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

Words
Transmitted as we're fitted from the start
Received by all and we're sentenced to a life with

Words
Impression of the stupid and the smart
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Inside your head can come alive as they're said
Softly, loudly, modestly or proudly

Words
Expression by the living and the dead
Everybody, everyday
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

am reminded of this song today. just thinking about everything that has happened over the past few weeks and it just seems that all problems are linked to words, the usage of words. what these words represent to the speaker and to the listener. and how this difference in representation of meanings leads to tension, stress, arguments and misunderstandings.

i feel really childish sometimes, harbouring thoughts of URGH towards someone. and im not sure why i do, esp over something that happened months ago. realised that im not the kind of person who finds it easy to let go of things. i guess seeing you walk in just reminds me of the things you said, and the repercussions of the things you said.

SHALL BREATHE IN DEEP AND LET IT GO (: because im tired of holding on to these emotions that eat me up everytime i let myself sink into it.

think it's time to make a choice to be happy. (: about everything. and to remember that i'm blessed to be a blessing to others. (:

2009-08-13T00:08:00.004+08:00

glow worm (:

dug out rockapella's christmas CD to listen as car tunes yesterday and realised i need better songs in the car, because the radio is highly unreliable (:

dad brought us to view a new house the other day. and that was the lovely view from the window, but looking at the house just makes me love serangoon gardens more (: think if my parents chase me out, ill just live in the garden or sth. the only other place i think i'd love to live in is rhoda's varsity park (: haha albeit it has a too-near-school location.

and today i finally brought frog out for his carwash (: because dad has been nagging. it was FUN! hahaha. thanks to the company of pooka joy, dobby and huiling mama (: relived our childhood for awhile at the playground after hahaha. and i scraped my knee jumping off this platform and blood SERIOUSLY GUSHED OUT in 2 secs. was quite scary. think i havent bled like that in ages.

and i seriously think im allergic to tension and conflict. is there such a thing as tension headaches? and the minute pple stop arguing im fine haha (: oh wells. i think i need to find a job in disneyland or sth where happiness OOZES everywhere.

2009-08-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

little froggie sing a song.

LAST day before school starts! :( but first time having a picnic with my dearest ootgr at the barrage, albeit it was mostly the europe trio. (: and sheena guided me in parking parallel for the first time YAY! (: as usual, we ate ALOT! took lots of pictures with our toy cameras and many other cameras (: i think combined we had about 7 cameras. and just thought about life (:

plus lunch with mings and kai (: where we ate alot again, and shared stupid stories.

all in all, very very good end to the 3 mth summer vacation (: which in my opinion, was the BEST 3 mths ever (:

okie, SCHOOL from 1-6 and then it's off to rhoda's (:

2009-08-10T00:52:00.003+08:00

popeyes (:

wanted to go down to the singapore flyer to see the fireworks but, we ended up driving around and around and around the flyer only to realise that the roads leading there have all been closed off (: so there we were, me elaine and serene stuck in frog for 1.5 hrs. and when the fireworks finally started, we were watching it off the reflection of some building in shenton way! ahahah.

but somehow, by faith, we made it to the fullerton bridge, just in time to see the heart-shaped fireworks, and the big finale (: it was so nice! (: sitting in the comfort of frog, watching the fireworks, which seemed super near, compared to when i saw them at the preview. (:

since elaine was craving popeye's, (apparently the one in the states sucks.), and the flyer was unreachable, we ended up at the airport for popeye's and then to changi coast road to watch the planes once again (:

here are some of the photos (:

okay sleepy. and the aim is to get up to see the sunrise. AH!

2009-08-08T19:25:00.002+08:00

21st century breakdown.

LOVING THE ION (:

hahaha, its big, but not vivocity big and it has everything (: except a cinema haha. but i can live without that (: met up with angietanpie, who is back from her 3 month soul-searching trip to germany, and foo and serene (: bought these new pair of shoes. oops, okie i think there'll be no shopping during school time anyway, so this is for the rest of the year (:

as we randomly walked around, we got free samples from kiehl's and free polaroid pictures for each of us (: went home with serene after and IM NOT GOING TO SEE HER AROUND IN SCHOOL THIS SEMESTER : ( sad, she has migrated to pulau NTU. but i shall make frequent trips over to visit (:

thanks for the lovely shopping day girls (:

off for dinner with the dad before he flies off for another week (:

2009-08-08T04:56:00.003+08:00

UP.

sang the national anthem at 930am (: been ages since any of us had to, but surprisingly, its quite hard to forget the words. somehow the song is buried there, deep within. took lulu and violet out again today, hope the photos turn out nice, havent finished the rolls of film.

it's 5am, and i cant sleep. i blame the teh halia after UP:3D! (: haha my first 3D movie! loved it, pixar always knows how to do funny, while pulling at the heartstring, and sending over life lessons (: really warmed to the idea of having someone who'll love me and be there for me till i'm old and 80 (: and that life doesnt always go as planned and it can be hard to let go of some of those initial dreams and expectations.

aunty molly arrived (: just in time for national day.

i'm scared. scared to be dependent on you, and scared that you'll not need me around anymore. i think, when molly's around, i think too much.

younger now than we were before.

2009-08-06T19:01:00.003+08:00

shoeboxes of photographs (:

uhoh, school is starting.

keeps getting harder and harder to let go of my holidays. was this close to asking my dad to let me follow him to work next week, despite school starting. SIGHS.

i think girls should be able to sigh, in general everyone should be able to sigh. its like crying. the release of negativity so that one can remain positive (:

yuans came over for a short tim-tam break just now and i think i should leave the house now before i start talking to myself. (:

here are some photos of lulu and violet's day out.

2009-08-05T04:26:00.003+08:00

one, twenty one guns.

Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins.

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

all's well in the world again (: JOY is back in my life.

2009-08-04T02:53:00.009+08:00

tonight's gonna be a good night.

went offline to sleep, but ended up not sleeping. (: found it rather cathartic to document the past summer holiday by making collages of the events. prob not gonna do proper updates on each event, because i cant rmb them in detail anymore (: they all seem like beautiful blurs.

so in chronological order, as far as i can rmb, here goes nothing (:

europe trip with 1/3 ootgr. (:

PROJECT OMG (: haha, what seemed like a crazy idea to begin with actually came true (: flew up to london to meet yuans, before flying off to vienna, meeting up with sheena&shannon in budapest and finishing off with prague (: plus mini njchoir girls gathering and snchoir girls gathering back in london. (:

musical europe (: free concerts in beautiful churches, hopping on and off trains without paying (: cute boys, WEIRD food. photo opportunities everywhere, couchsurfing, hostels with strange men! meeting present and old vienna boys, funny looking tourguides, friendly strangers (: pickpockets and shady characters. toooooo many churches, cemeteries for famous people (: castles! alot of walking, too much walking, but it was fun! sighs (: missing it still. now i know why yuans misses norway so much! i miss europe with nabbit ong, margit tan and shannon didi! oh and thanks to ahboy and wanj for putting me up at her lovely home in bakers' street (: i want to go for proper high tea at the ritz the next time i go back to london! hahaha (: and more primark and H&M shopping (:

europe and london probably wouldn't have been as fun without my dearest sheena and yuans (: thank you girls! love you both to bits.

had to go home eventually, but decided to change my flight so i could fly the A380 straight from london (: which led to the next event. (:

turning 22 with love.

changed my flight so i reached home 4 hours later than expected (: only to realise that a birthday entourage had been waiting for me at my original flight time (: super touched at the effort and planning and masterminding (: have officially been out-masterminded. (: and i loved it.

thank you rhoda, peimin, adyll, gerald, harris, khairul, joel, and the rest of the nuschoir darlings who made the day such a special one. what with me screwing up your plans time and time again, yet you guys still pulled it off (: very very happy (: haha. thank you for making my 22nd so special (:

random happenings in july (:

the start of july marked the return of all overseas ootgr-ians, so we had some impromptu gatherings. plus an OVERLOAD of choir practices, both nuschoir and tvc. fortunately i love singing (: so it was fine. also had outings to ECP to cycle! hahah (: but dont seem to have any pictures of that. and of VIDEO GAMES LIVE. i have no pictures of that hmm. (: and dearest huiling mama got us tickets to the NDP preview (: lots of MIPANG meetings and baking at every chance we got (: everything else was a blur and most likely part of the pre-hangzhou competition prep (: here are some photos (:

orientale concentus II. (:

a competition where we kicked ass (: didnt really matter that we won category champions for folklore, gold for open mixed or the special jury prize (which until now im not sure what it is. because the fact is singing on the stage of the hangzhou grand theatre made me cry (: really feel nuschoir had such a difficult journey to this competition and finally being able to deliver something close to perfection was enough to make my cry (:

the o magnum mysterium on competition day was (: whoosh. wish we had videos. (: seeing ttoh almost close to tears while conducting was heart-wrenching too. plus aiyah, the whole competition day, running from nuschoir to tvc and back to nuschoir. unfortunately, i only have the heart for one choir i realised. (:

other than that, hangzhou was a SAUNA, but a beautiful one at that. (: the solar eclipse, the vegetables and bones for dinner, the cheap cheap magnum ice-creams, beautiful 5-star hotel, long nights of heart-to-heart talks, project DEEP SHIT, project pooka 3.0 (: rhoda's 22nd. irritatingly nasal high pitched voices, LONG longjing tea speeches (: late night debriefs (: loving my buddy rhoda (: and my next door neighbour peimin. connected with some alumni like christopher and joseph! met up with my dearest loser isaac in shanghai, felt like a goodbye to my dearest nadnad. choir sluts,

plus misunderstandings, hurtful words from unexpected, attempts at patching up and tears. too much tears. as well as comfort from the most unlikely sources (: to summarize, an emotionally draining trip. in both good and bad ways (:

despite it all, we definitely sang without regrets (: loving THE NUSChoir. <3

hongkong & macau 2009.

came back from shanghai with a 2 day break, before running off to hongkong again (: already updated about it. basically shopped till we dropped, ate till we put on weight (: here are the photos!

hhahahaha, oh and in addition to the many clothes, im pleased to announce the addition of my two new camera babies (:

cant wait to get film and bring them out (: and on that sad note, i have to complete my wedding assignment BY HOOK OR BY CROOK this wed. shall attempt to sleep now before the mua3210 audition at 1030am tmr! hahah (:

the countdown to the end of the summer hols starts now. : (

then sings my soul, my saviour god to thee.
how great thou art, how great thou art.

the last song to accompany me on my long blog post. nights (:

2009-08-02T18:13:00.002+08:00

the dimsum dollies. (:

so tired of shopping and officially out of money, but just had to blog out something to remember the trip by (: hongkong was lovely in all of its cantonese-ness. efficient public transportation system, nightlife past 10pm (: squashed up compact sized hotel rooms, frivolous mango desserts, tonnes of noodles in soup (: and the shopping, amazing for the girls, but not that much for the boys hahaha. sorry boys! me and rhoda literally shopped till we dropped, my hand was breaking, and i was running low on cash, so we went back to the hotel (:

being in hongkong makes me wish i was better at cantonese hahaha (: there's something kinda sleek about it, dunno how to explain it.

other than that, it was lovely. (: photos all up on facebook.

think im officially suffering from travel fatigue. on hindsight, i realised that this summer holidays was super well spent (: london, budapest, vienna, prague, hangzhou, shanghai and finally hongkong. perhaps its time to spend a little more time at home. the trip only re-emphasized that although it can be difficult sometimes to travel in groups, and accomodate to the different expectations, i wouldn't travel alone. loved walking the streets of hongkong for awhile, but in the end, i still wanted to share the experience with people who matter (:

am happy to be home. (: just need to tie up a few loose ends here and there. hongkong seemed like the perfect escape, for awhile.

2009-07-19T02:17:00.002+08:00

hangzhou, here we come (:

hahah P and R are fast asleep in their beds, snoring away might i add. and its 218am, which means i have 2 hours to sleep before we get up to go to t3 and fly off to china (: im excited, scared, yet dreading some of it. i just really really want to enjoy this trip and not get bogged down by any unnecessary emotional drama. sometimes there are so many things i wish to say, but i find myself stopping bcos it would just make things worse.

so.. alright, i guess i know how it feels to keep things bottled up too. (: good and bad i guess. just hate how even one small bad thing can ruin a giant lovely picture.

oh well, letting all the irritation go now, because im still thankful there are those who do value and treasure the things i do (: and i am excited to sing for nuschoir. and i hope we kick some major butt while we are there. and if not, let's just sing without regrets (:

be back on 24th july. (:

2009-07-14T03:06:00.003+08:00

the end of the cold war.

the most unusual way of resolving a conflict, but extremely memorable nonetheless (: haha. dont wanna talk about it here, because it was just toooooo embarrassing. special thanks goes out to my pookas who helped me achieve the end result, albeit there were some dangerous moments along the way (:

the adjustment of expectations. and the crazy indian man. and the nudge (x8). whee (:

oh but before that, we were all at the airport to send off our dearest isaac, who's off to shanghai for a whole year! : ( hasn't sunk in yet, but ill def be seeing him on 23rd jun hopefully after the hangzhou competition (:

extremely sleeeeepy (: but happy. for the first time today, i didn't feel bored singing o magnum.

2009-07-11T02:00:00.002+08:00

bruises.

super cute song, that me and isaac heard in kim's car after supper one day (:

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell you on yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell on you yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for

You-ooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
So black and blue-oooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...

I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruisy knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruisy knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for

You-ooo etc...
For you-ooo etc....
So black and blue-ooo etc...
For you-oooo etc....

Do-doo-do-do-do

im tired of being the first to make any steps. why dont YOU do something.

2009-07-06T02:19:00.003+08:00

bad bad day for frog. :(

i have to admit, i've done some stupid things with the car. aka FROG. but nothing beats today. i left the keys in the ignition with the engine running, aircon blowing, tvscreen glaring and left the car in the carpark of terminal 3 changi airport, to go have supper for 2 hours. : ( then proceeded onto panic, and heart stopping moments when i couldn't find my keys, only to realise my STUPIDITY. URGH.

sometimes, i wonder how dumb can i be. URGH.

and before that, poor frog got "beaten up" by two old men! we were all waiting for sheena at tanah merah mrt taxi stand, and we were just waiting for something like 2 minutes, when this old man A came to my door and POUNDED/BANGED damn hard on the window and asked me to MOVE AWAY. like seriously, screamed MOVE AWAY. then okie, but i was talking to yuans so i didnt move, then older man B went to fel's side of the car and started banging on her window and kept saying MOVE MOVE MOVE.

soooooooo irritated. what happened to asking nicely? i mean it's not like we switched off the engine and were blocking anyone.

sometimes, i wonder how anyone can be so angry at small things.

okie. irritated, angry, and irritated only at 225am, because im recounting above mentioned stupid stories. hopefully tmr will be better.

2009-07-03T23:54:00.002+08:00

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

here i am, sitting at a laptop that isn't mine, listening to all sorts of lovely soundtracks of movies, and thinking about life (:

had a lovely homecooked meal with rhoda, cooked by our dearest harris ang! (: ahahah, i think rho's so impressed, she wants to move in with him. haha.

on an entirely random note, i know i have not been updating this pathetic excuse of a blog, but im not sure if anyone reads anymore. must really get down to blogging about the things i want to, because the more i think about them, the more they seem like a complete blur to me.

precisely like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. it would be lovely if i could travel back through my memories or be like dumbledore and have a big lovely basin of memories (:

really think i should be more excited about the upcoming trip, but its tough to be. had a rather weird out of this world, blame it on time of the month moment over the past few days. i was frustrated, and i dont know why. that's the worst.

sometimes, i feel like i should go for therapy (: hahaha. and now im happy again. sighs. alright (:

FELYNA LEE, SHEENA QUEK AND LOH YUANZHEN ARE FINALLY HOME(: and i had a lovely random 2 hour phone call last night, talking about everything girls talk about under the sun. am more for phone calls now (: dont sms me, CALL ME. unless its before 10am, then sms (:

alright, have to go check on rhoda and harris and our mudpies!

2009-06-24T16:47:00.002+08:00

eat, sing, sleep.

that's my life for now, and i kinda love it. maybe cos i dont have to deal with office hours and everything else, but yupp this pretty much seems like the ideal 3 mth holiday for me right now (:

many things, to update and chronicle since i last blogged.
1) europe trip with 1/3 of OOTGR!
2) turning 22. (: very happily i might add.
3) nuschoir's prep for hangzhou.
4) many other random things that have happened but i cant rmb, and will continue to be harder to remember the longer i take to update.

but i guess most importantly (:

5) the addition of the new iMac to the YEOH RESIDENCE (: which has been most frustrating and i admit i have not been showing it the love and care it deserves.

on that note i need to rearrange my room, because its been rearranged by the mothership and i have no idea where most of my things are. i need to make to-do lists.

on todolist:

MAKE A TO DO LIST.

okie (: david tutera calls, then caroline and peimin calls, then shia and megan call (:

2009-05-30T06:44:00.000+08:00

VIENNA (:

just a quick post to say im safe and sound. with yuans right now and we are going to sleep cos we ar tired. LOVES.

2009-05-28T13:19:00.003+08:00

london, my love.

I AM OFFICIALLY IN LONDON (: (: (:

haha had a safe touch down at 330pm london time, which is 7 hours behind Singapore time btw. the flight was so-so! im getting really disappointed in the announcements by SQ stewardesses. goodness. cant they just pick ONE girl who can do proper announcements. but my stewardesses were lovely, got off the plane with a premium fast track thingy for me to zoom-zoom through immigration YAY! and alot of cookies. (:

hopefully i fly the A380 home! (:

anyway, ahboy picked me up at the airport! thank god, because hahaha, i realised it would have been rather horrible to navigate with my giant luggage. but (: in the end, we still got lost in the tube! shame on us! haha (:

dumped my luggage at the house! met wanj son and was supposed to go for dinner, but the girls knew my craving for primark so we went straight there (: and OMG, they live 2 mins from Madame Tussaud's and 15 mins from PRIMARK! (:

oh well (: i didnt go nuts, bought 4 things only WHEE. will buy more when i get back to london on 5th june! after primark, ahboy brought me to watch the musical Dirty Dancing! small stage but very very nice set arrangements, and choreo! found myself staring at the HOT GIRL instead of the leading couple most of them time bcos sadly, the leading couple is just disturbing. the guy looks 40, and the girl looks 11.

finished the show around 10! then rushed down to fulham broadway station to pick up yuans! (: who was freezing and needed to pee again, hah what's new! so happy to see her (: came home, packed our bags for vienna and slacked around till we fell asleep at 2-ish am.

leaving for vienna at 1130am! (: hopefully we find our host's place. going to do couchsurfing for the first time. it literally means you surf someone's couch, haah. (: for free. we are so going to queue early for the vienna boys choir! (:

im just so happy happy to be here (: everything's better instantly. the sky's grey but the weather is lovely. people are SO FRIENDLY (: smiles, small talk, gestures. a lovely guy helped me with my heavy luggage in the TUBE. (: i mean seriously, u dont see that often in singapore. oh but the tubes do break down quite a bit and the lights kept flickering, if i weren't with the girls, i seriously might be worried about a dementor attack. HA.

anyway doubt ill get internet over the next 8days cos we're going to be moving around and hostels may not have free internet. so here's my itinerary (:

28th-30th may: VIENNA
31st-2nd Jun: BUDAPEST (with sheenabanana!)
3rd-5th Jun: PRAGUE

and then ill be back to london in which i have to figure out how to do ALL MY LONDON THINGS IN 1+day. im so torn between wanting to stay longer and going home.

speaking of which, thank you harris ang for sending me off yesterday (: and sheenawee who works at t3! ahah (: had lovely company before walking into the departure gates. felt really really sad to be leaving, there's always that few minutes after you've crossed the gates and you're alone and you just wanna run back out to where it is familiar.

realised i do love to travel, but with the right company. i wouldn't mind exploring the city alone, but in the end i still want to have people to share the experience with (; hopefully it'll be a very fruitful trip with the ootgr girls and nothing horrible happens. apparently prague is filled with pickpockets!

ahaha (: okie, its 635am, i think my jet lag is cured! see you darlings soon! here's the theme song from Dirty Dancing (:

Boy: Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt like this before
Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

Girl: 'Cause I've had the time of my life
and I owe it all to you

Boy: I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me

Girl: We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy

Both: Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Boy: just remember

Girl: You're the one thing

Boy: I can't get enough of

Girl: So I'll tell you something

Both:This could be love because

(CHORUS)
Both: I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
'Til I found the truth
And I owe it all to you

Girl: With my body and soul
I want you more than you'll ever know

Boy: So we'll just let it go
Don't be afraid to lose control

Girl: Yes I know whats on your mind
When you say:
"Stay with me tonight."

Boy: Just remember
You're the one thing

Girl: I can't get enough of

Boy: So I'll tell you something

Both: This could be love because

(CHORUS)
Both: 'Cause I had the time of my life
No I've never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I found the truth
and I owe it all to you

*Instrumental*

Boy: Now I've had the time of my life
No I never felt this way before

(Girl: Never Felt this way)

Boy: Yes I swear it's the truth
and I owe it all to you

Both: 'Cause I had the time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I've found the truth
and I owe it all to you

Both: "cause I've had the time of my life
No I've never felt this way before
Yes I swear it's the truth
And I owe it all to you

nobody puts baby in the corner.

2009-05-26T17:12:00.002+08:00

purple leaves.

alright. last blog post before i fly off. turn off the internet and do my wedding project which i have resigned to failure, not sure if its because i don't want to do it, or i somehow find myself finding reasons to not do it.

i really hate time of the month. i watched confessions of a shopaholic again, and it's supposed to be funny right, but i teared like every 20mins of the show. OVER NOTHING.

alright, i guess it's time to make it official because PLAN OMG is happening in like 14 hours.

PLAN OMG (: fly up to london and meet yuans&sheenana to go travelling! really really hope it goes well, no major screwups, no bitchiness, just lots of nostalgia, new experiences, catching up, OOH-ing and AAH-ing. and yah, the ultimate aim of this whole 3 month break anyway, good soul-searching. (: and surviving a rather bad bout of cramps. URGH.

i have decided that my first wedding dance song is gonna be An Everlasting Love by Natalie Cole. (:

random but yupps.

alright people,

flying off on 27th May 0905hrs T3 SQ308, coming back 8th Jun 1420hrs T3 SQ319. I THINK, and i think because i havent bought the ticket yet, or at least my dad hasn't. and OMG THE CRAMPS ARE GETTING WORSE. :(

be safe and happy my darlings (:

2009-05-26T03:32:00.002+08:00

and the world spins madly on.

it's 420am, and i can't sleep. less than 30 hours before i fly off. mixed feelings all over. during supper, khai reminded me of this damn oldschool mandy moore song called Walk Me Home. (: haha. so old school. but i like.

3 A.M.
You're on my mind once again
I must have been dreamin'
Thought I felt your heartbeat just then
And I wondered how it would be
If I was your lady
And you were my friend
I would put my heart in your hand
And it would never end

Baby would you walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby would you walk with me home
Baby would you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby would you walk with me home

dunno to be happy or sad that time of the month is here. i think happy, the more i have it in singapore, the less i'll have it when im travelling (:

2009-05-25T12:04:00.004+08:00

one tbsp of love.

michelle wants this so badly : (

most people would rather get the macbook but haha, i think if ever did get one, i would never let it out of the house. QUARANTINED for my eyes only (:

45 hours to PLAN OMG (:

2009-05-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

of baking and mistakes.

(: mings and kai i love you! haha, finally had a sleepover at ming's place. it's been forever since we had a sleepover. wanted to bake super alot of nice goodies, but all of them went a little haywire haha (: but still super fun.

and im getting super excited about VGL'09, video games live (: the songs are so cute!

2 more days before PLAN OMG (:

2009-05-22T02:53:00.002+08:00

no boundaries.

hahaha, do want to do a detailed update but am getting sleepier by the second! (: random thoughts that crossed my mind today,

1. KRIS ALLEN FOR THE WIN (: wholesome, great voice, everything (: hahaha!

2. American Idol Finale kicked some major ass, albeit watching it at 8am with 2 sleepy boys was challenging.

3. i really hate some of the songs we're singing for competition, namely C*****. and none of the rest of the repertoire seems to be making up for this lack of love which is worse. at least for russia, i still had lily, tsubasa, lukluk, credo, salve to make up for gloria. 5 gorgeous pieces for 1 weirdo. now it's just 1 overdone piece, 1 techno bollywood number, C*****, 1 lullaby which seems to wake babies up instead and 1 really energetic cardio exercise song.

4. the set piece for american idol kind of sucks.

5. the best days are those which just sorta happen, fall into place nicely, without much effort. (: from american idol finale to grabbing 3 seasons of How I Met Your Mother from yy, to recee-ing a church with limbei (: to amk hub, to the singapore flyer for popeyes and a revolving whirl and finally to the barrage for more camwhoring madness (: and finally to 3 hours of choir practice. PERFECTION (:

6. i need to follow my list of tips on a better life more strictly.

alright, plan OMG is i would say 90% confirmed and that means i would have to finish up wedding project asap except i think my lecturer doesn't like me much and refuses to reply my emails :(

and sleep beckons, but i shall leave you with snippets haha (: i dont even know who YOU is actually. but yupp, this is for me to reminisce when i'm in my old age and a reminder to myself to upload the 240 photos i have of the past few days (:

3 days to plan a wedding. (:

2009-05-18T01:22:00.002+08:00

love tank.

one of the very cool exhibits at the national museum (: if i joined the army, i'd prob fight tooth and nail to drive this army tank.

gonna concuss soon, long day, alot of information to take in :( i really really want someone to tell me right and wrong. i don't wanna figure it out on my own anymore. it's getting difficult.

the only thing that is on my mind right now, is trying to understand how writers conceptualize their worlds. first, you have this amazing world which stephanie meyer has created about forbidden love and choices and being doubly marginalized, trying to be good when you're labelled as a deviant. then you have this other world, in which dan brown has focused on the religion-science dichotomy and i really wonder how on earth people can write so brilliantly about such things.

makes me feel rather insignificant.

on random notes, the twilight movie may not be as good as the books, but haha they definitely have one good looking cast (: can't wait for new moon in november!

today, i realised that it has been 18 years. 18 years and it's still with me. blessing or curse?

2009-05-17T12:18:00.002+08:00

you are so beautiful.

shame on me for discovering this so late (: hahaha, but no choice. wed's classes clash with all the live showings of american idol! : ( but yupp, omg. i seriously started crying when i heard danny gokey's version of this song. MARRY ME DANNY!

haha (: hmm but since danny gokey has been eliminated, and i admit adam lambert is bloody good, I STILL LOVE KRIS! haha. i shall support the dark horse. although, it's pretty obvious who will win. (:

kris allen (:

and hurrah, american idol finale THURSDAY MORNING 8AM (:

2009-05-15T12:27:00.008+08:00

now is the month of MAYing (:
seriously, that song title is so apt right now (:

now is the month of maying,
when merry lads are playing,
falala lalala la la la la (:

oh my gosh, OVERJOYED! haha (: happiness flows through me! anyhow, haha it's been quite a lovely week (:

met up with my se2221 mates for catching up and angels and demons (:

me and emily (:

susanna with her new bf!

all of us who endured that horrible southeastasia module under you-know-who (:

im gonna miss all of them so much! esp emily when she flies off for grad school in july! (: and angels&demons was fabulous! hahah. absolutely loved this new flow that ron howard used. seems less preachy and more action based. and i really dont understand all this religion vs science debate thing going on about the movie. because in the end, the theme really seems to be religion and science working together (:

i particularly like something they said at the end about religion not being perfect and being flawed, because man is flawed (: just kinda stuck with me after.

hahaha after went down to city hall to meet apple ang and the rest of the nuschoir peeps for SOV'09 (: my 10th year attending SOV already! hahaha, unbelievable. since sec1, the first time i watched SOV, i always wanted to be one of them, in the flowy white dresses singing NMIAI at the end of every concert.

but i'm still thankful that somehow my path brought me to nj instead, and then nuschoir (:

i shall just let the photos do the talking (:

me and prawn (: havent seen her in ages!

the heavenly ones (:

the red/black combi and coincidentally all members of the nuschoircomm 09/10!

project pooka <3 finally.

me and momo (: who entertained me to no end at the concert. thanks for being my date!
us with the damn popular tea-cheow (: waited damn long for this photo la.

to HANGZHOU AND BEYOND!

concert itself was so-so (: dont really like the repertoire this year, save for a few like Hana and Confitemini Domino (: loved those 2. if only we could sing Hana for competition (: haha oh and yesterday was dress up day, cant really see my dress, but yupp juat says i loook like agar-agar, khairul says i look like chocolate. haha. i prefer the chocolate (:

yay, alright gonna spend a lovely friday at chomps and with my forever friend!

2009-05-13T11:15:00.003+08:00

tips for a better life.

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about.

found this on ivy's blog (: kinda nice, shall aspire to some of it. maybe everything except,

2. Sit in silence for 10 minutes a day. (HUH!?) haha.

and on a sidenote, i didn't get the internship i really wanted! : ( which was like a huge reality check. i think on some level, i just expected them to hand me the internship. haha, but hum-haw. (: wake up michelle!

alright, said byebye to serene toh yesterday! : ( who's going to perfect perth for 3 whole weeks! me and ah foo were like idiots yesterday trying to hide from her. stupid terminal 1 layout! haha.

anw we tried calling her to tell her we're here but we found her asleep at the chairs! haha.

us at popeye's for her last meal before she reaches perth since jetstar doesnt have free food!

BYEBYE DEAR (: bring back timtams for us. the minty ones (:

my study buddies (:

alright (:

to do list:
1. wallow in the fact that i didn't get the internship i wanted
2. watch twilight dvd with ivy and yy! (:
3. convince my dad to let me go to london.

i think the 3rd one's gonna need alot of work.

i want nobody nobody but choo.

2009-05-12T00:48:00.006+08:00

teamSUN.

first choir prac in DAMN LONG! haha : ) seriously almost forgot how to do warmups and hit high notes. but (: oh well, loved it. : ) feeling a tinge less lost now. but anyhow, pooka joy just sent me Lost by Coldplay (: highly encouraging.

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I'm across

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved
No better and no worse

I just got lost!
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost!
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh and I'm just waiting til the firing's stopped
Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off

its been a rather aerius-y weekend (: met up with darling mings, and we went down to homeclub at boat quay to surprise kai for her flea market! haha. bought 2 tops and 1 dress and a book! so much for saving $$$.

the entrepreneurial ladies! (: kai, huihua and pearlyn.

minghui is contestant no. $20 (:

(random sidenote: all our online shopping is here! yay! : ) haha. )

and today, met up with my dearest LOser isaac and kai for a good lunch! and shopping around town. well technically they both left around 430, and i wondered to borders! haha (: so happy, forgot how much i love to just sit around the bookstore reading random books.

this photo was taken to prove that we finally met at a decent time, instead of 10pm.

i think im experiencing a renewal of youth too, totally love demi lovato's songs, and she is from the disney family as well (: haha eeling would scorn at me and say michelle is a HSM lover! but i can't help it (:

alright, said bye to angietanpie today!

tmr saying byebye to miss toh li hui (:

we were just about to fall even more in love than we were before.

2009-05-11T01:44:00.002+08:00

grace.

the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

sense of loss, seriously. met up with my dearest angietanpie today, who is flying off tmr to germany for 2 mths. she says she's gonna spend it "finding herself" (: right now, all i can think about is how i wish i was flying off too. suddenly the future seems unkind.

:(

2009-05-09T21:38:00.006+08:00

and it was all yellow (:

E3 SHORT WING GATHERING 2009 (:

haha, havent cleaned my room so THOROUGHLY in ages, but for them it was worth it (: almost all the e3-ers showed up except stupid angietanpie who is just too darn busy for her own good. but nvm i shall meet her for brunch before she flies off to fabulous germany! (:

had a mini pot luck thing and it was so good! how ironic that we didn't cook AT ALL when we were all in hall, but yday everyone contributed something so lovely (: we had shepherd's pie, devilled eggs with tuna mix, potato salad with asparagus, asparagus & seared egg wrapped in bacon strips, mushroom soup, fruit cocktail MAMMA MIA (: oh and biscuits from australia, and see's candy from CALIFORNIA! hahaha.

poor shans came over to my house at 4 only to realise that i am a total cooking failure and how i have 5 stoves, of which none of them work. HA. (: so one quick emergency phone call, and we packed everything up and went to yy's to cook. (: her rabbit is so cute! i forgot to take picture alamak.

and we were supposed to eat at 730, but yupp somehow we only ate at 8 plus haha. HUNGRY as hell, but fang's nuggets saved the day (: okay i shall just let the pictures tell the rest.

it was such a lovely night! a bit of wind, better than the past few days and there were hardly any cars in sight. haha took advantage of it (: i like this photo alot. kinda reminds me of the super unknown future in front of me. hmm.

the crazy girls who tried to be an indonesian flag. HAHA.

FANG (: my beloved co-head for FLAG.

manda and shan! california exchange girls (: thank god for swine flu, which forced manda to come home early and make it in time for our gathering.
we found out that when you are seriously full, rocking on the swing really aids digestion : )

my dearest serene (: with her super yummy appetizer.
foo and toh (: my dearest study buddies. oh and xiaoxuan made the cocktail drink in the big purple container.

this photo of yy is DAMN FUNNY! hahaha (: thanks for letting us hijack your kitchen.

STUPIDEST game on earth, BALDERDASH!

foo and ee hahah, cracking up at some of our answers. seriously, laughing hysterically on a full stomach is no joke. at one point i think we were laughing so hard, it was like we were drunk.

my dearest neighbour (: shans! my garden light is like a big ORB of angelic-ness. haha.

our mushroom soup! (: hahaha. which rivals soup spoon's i tell you.

: )
all of us (:

finally had my garden dinner party, with my garden lights and tea candles. : )))

i dunno what on earth this is haha. OVERLOAD of balderdash perhaps.
i ran out of pillows for those who sleptover, so guess WHO is in the pillowcase? : ) hahaha.

hee, AH FOO and SLOWPOKE (: slowpoke takes up half my kiddy bed.

whee : ) we fell asleep watching YES MAN at like 4 plus am. this is our feet in the morning, because we just look too cui to take photos.

thanks for being a beautiful chapter in my nus life (:

whisper hello, i'm missing you terribly

2009-05-07T11:48:00.005+08:00

LA LA LAND.

and thus marks the end of le troisième annèe! (: i hope that is right, because i know i'm getting an F for french 2, and i don't care (: which clearly demonstrates the jadedness i've accumulated over the first 5 semesters of school (:

anyhow, this blog is almost entirely dedicated to my study buddies (: and how much im gonna miss the both of them now that they are graduating :( all the pigging out, car travelling, summary doing, massive highlighting, mindmapping and bimbotic moments (:

am so proud of our SC3219 board (: haha, we took over the YST study room and vandalised it.

serene and foo (:

spastic foo! haha, with her paddle pop icecream tongue. her house has so much good instant food (: paddle pop and instant seaweed chicken and hashbrowns.

dearest serene! (: with her 2 year anniversary present from greg. SO LOVELY.

all in all, i think in total, we prob read that bloody gayle rubin sexuality reading 10 times (: but it was worth it. okie it wasn't because sexuality exam was a disaster, as were the rest. i think only chamber singers seems remotely stable (:

had 3 exams, and watched 3 movies (: literally one for each exam. for SC4201, it was 17 Again! after sexuality, caught X-Men: Wolverine and finally before inequalities, caught Revolutionary Road, which i thought was justified because it was all bout the middle class strain (:

big thanks also goes to rhoda (: for always accomodating me at the last min for study and swim plans :D and prancer and harris for agreeing to study at the most far off locations (: and elaine fung suet lee! (: haha who's house has to be the warmest, cosiest house ever with a lovely mom who cooks yummy food (:

: ) oh yes! almost forgot. JC SYF was yesterday! haha. honestly i was quite bored. would have died if the ms ruixian and ms suat weren't next to me. and pooka joy was around to entertain me as well. i don't know why i was bored actually 75% of them had some stomping or clapping, which started the boring. and then when a choir had no stomping or clapping, i was more bored. HA. definitely not a reflection on them, but me. (:

and the getting of afternoon tickets, OH. EM. GEE. haha. (: this is what i imagined a sample sale in Confessions of a Shopaholic must be like. damn scary la, at 130pm, the barricade starts to rise slowly, people start getting into their crouching tiger hidden dragon positions, and then its a massive push shove squeeze situation.

anyhow, absolutely loved this song that HCJC sang (: Orpheus with His Lute. doubly special because that was the poem that dr. wallace asked me to recite at the MUA3211 Chamber Singers recital. just hearing the poem set in the form of a lovely song was breathtaking (:

ORPHEUS with his lute made trees
And the mountain tops that freeze
Bow themselves when he did sing:
To his music plants and flowers
Ever sprung; as sun and showers
There had made a lasting spring.

Every thing that heard him play,
Even the billows of the sea,
Hung their heads and then lay by.
In sweet music is such art,
Killing care and grief of heart
Fall asleep, or hearing, die.

alrightey-roos. i have to clean up my room before the eusoff girls invade it tmr night (:

2009-05-01T11:05:00.004+08:00

agent zero.

the guys in X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE are just, yummy-licious (: if there is such a word.

it was pathetic how they killed off the only 2 characters i had semi-interest in like 15 mins into the movie (: poor ryan reynolds and dominic monaghan had only minutes of screen time. :( but it's okie. agent zero had SLIGHTLY more (:

this is worth watching x-men for (: shallow i know but haha yes, totally worth taking a break from studying after 2 horrible papers. HORRIBLE. i have come to realise that whether or not you prepare for the paper, it's still horrible.

oh yah, so swoon darlings (: daniel henney is yummy!

2009-04-25T17:34:00.002+08:00

procrastination is my best friend.

i seriously know how to waste time! oh my god, okie, ive wasted almost my whole saturday away, and all i've scribbled is like 2 lines on my lecture notes. okie, but i just have to post this before i remove myself from all distractions. (:

been following american idol as much as i can, but wow, i really like the new judge! kara dioguardi can sing (: found this on youtube.

I get lost inside your stare
Lost when you're not there
And everything I have
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you

If it's a dream
Don't wake me up
I'll scream if this isn't love
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you
I wanna stay lost.

now if only we all could write a winning song when we're going through something bad in life (: that would be a perfect way to turn something bad into something lovely (:

2009-04-22T17:37:00.002+08:00

gather ye roses.

this is so random that i can't think of a title for my post. but i just had to type this out.

went to attend the syf central judging for choirs yesterday, and whoosh. what a rush of emotions, everything about it reminded me of sngs, ootgr and njchoir, all the experiences that came tied along to those groups of friends. it was fun, having a day to travel back in time sort of, and live it again.

couple of choirs sang songs that we learnt back in sngs, back in my dearest chopin room with my darling ootgr. after 2 HotaruKois, 1 Hikariga and 1 Mayila (yes, yuans and nad, do you remember MAYILA from choral fest?), i started tearing right there in VCH.

OOTGR, if you are reading this, i miss you girls so much! :( come back soon. and yes btw, ST.NICKS CHOIR got gold with honours :)

and to the njchoir darlings, compassvalesecschoolchoir has the SAME choir gown as nj! exactly like the one that dearest shuzie designed! they have ripped it off, but of course the nj gown will always look nicer to me : )

and our dearest queenbitch has done it. : ) gone for his dream, worked hard at it and gotten the best results he deserved. i'm so proud of him! : ) when will i ever do something like that, i seriously wonder.

gonna meet peimin soon for our wedding planner class! :D hope it'll be fun! and yes, no studying done yesterday, but had a really fruitful tutorial for SC2204 today, really admire tutors who know what they are doing, instead of just doing the routine come to class, split you into groups to discuss and leave.

shall just leave you with one song that stuck in my head after 12 renditions of this year's syf set piece, white horses and 24 other choice pieces.

Gather ye roses while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying;
A world where beauty fleets away
Is no world for denying.
Come lads and lasses, fall to play
Lose no more time in sighing

The very flowers you pluck to-day
To-morrow will be dying;
And all the flowers are crying,
And all the leaves have tongues to say,-
Gather ye roses while ye may.

2009-04-20T13:49:00.004+08:00

mojo (:

while waiting for the boys to arrive, i have decided to post photos of the food we made yesterday! (: hahah.

my rather successful potato salad, which harris helped to make.

my very unsuccessful attempt at rainbow cupcakes, yes they were supposed to be CUPCAKES. in the end they look more like technicolour pancakes (: haha. ultimate failure.

our many different coloured batter to make the cupcakes (: its like primary school art and craft session (:

and this one is just random but so cute (:

while studying at the starbucks at west coast plaza, we realised that starbucks gives out small packets of fertilizer aka expired coffee powder! haha. so we took some. (:

alright, starving and tired of using the laptop, battery's running out! and uhoh, me and xiaoxuan went shopping online again. HOW!

2009-04-17T16:50:00.003+08:00

spellbound.

currently sitting in the kitchen at the YEOH residence, with all my contemporary social books surrounding me, and i'm supposed to finish my part for the SC4201 WikiPage, but urgh, i cant seem to get started. gosh, thank god for the 3 months break coming up for me to decide if honours is the route for me.

feel like running to london for a week, just a quick week. once again, michelle is daydreaming.

anyhow, this has been a week of airport and late night crammings, espresso shot hangovers (: cannot wait for myself to finish this SC4201 paper and then it's a lovely weekend of relaxation before reading week officially starts on monday (:

I LOVE SC4201. if i keep telling myself that, it'll be true. i have one week to see the light for this module.

oops before i forget, finally remembered the name of the other song i liked at the a capella gig over the weekend (:

Count Basie's Li'l Darlin' covered by The Real Group. call me crazy, but i can already see myself dancing to this at my wedding. HAHA. (:

Don't need no palace paved with gold
Don't need more cash than banks can hold
When I get to feelin' a feelin'
For something there ain't too much of
My sweet li'l darlin' gives me her love

Don't catch me chasin' round at night
I'm not impressed by glamour sights
Li'l darlin' may not be as pretty
As some other gals you can see
But my li'l darlin' only loves me

random thoughts:
1. maybe instead of spending money and flying to frivolous places, i should get a job.
2. i wonder what it's like to fail a module.

2009-04-15T13:42:00.007+08:00

trainwreck.

hmm, to say i've been thinking about alot of things is an understatement. but seriously, i think i'm going go cuckoo soon if i don't blog out some of my thoughts or happenings :)

for memory's sake, when i'm 80, and the internet is still around. this is what has happened over the past week-ish. : )

celebrated dearest tyra's 22nd bday :D

drove down to the windiest place on earth to light candles. MISTAKE :D haha and collaborated with the most kancheong guy ever, dont think i've ever run from coffeebean to macs to other side of macs looking over my shoulder so often worrying if the bday boy would sudd surprise us : ) but all in all, LOVELY bday surprise : )

had one of the most memorable exams ever in my NUS life : )

been wanting to blog about this concert for ages, but just too caught up in other stuff to. REALLY ENJOYED THIS PERFORMANCE :) even though the heels were too high, files were too heavy, repertoire was overly ambitious and the thought of singing next to pple who don't know what they are singing, oh and the very embarrassing Titania and Bottom re-enactment.

despite all the screwups (and yes there were many!), it came to a point, where i didn't really care if we sounded like crap, because it was fun : ) like an imperfect performance made even more perfect because of its imperfections. dr. wallace has to be the most gracious and graceful conductor who never fails to encourage her choristers to sing. love her to bits : )

what else? oh yes that one crazy night, where one thing just led to another. somehow we went from budak pantai-ing to a hongkongcafe, to a place for prawning where we didn't prawn to a ghost house, to a fast and furious movie : )

the last photo cracks me up so much :D hee! anyway, budak pantai was amazing : ) love them to bits. the bass is no longer that flat! hahah, i mean to be honest, the singing wasn't the BEST of all the groups, but they more than made up for it with their humour, creative layering of songs and sincerity. uploaded one of their videos on facebook, so go check it out if you can. :D i think the esplanade is my new favourite haunt after Changi Airport :D both give me a sense of escapism.

anyhow, returned the next night to the Esplanade Waterfront to catch Blue Intentions with thomas and shafia, it was amazing! : ) they are amazing. if they are reading this, i am your new fan :D haha : )

but before that, a few of us went BACK TO SCHOOL :D

went to support adyll at regent for their pre-syf preview :D jiayou queen bitch!

and i shall round it off with a meetup with my dearest kai :D brought her back to the esplanade to enjoy more of Blue Intentions! :D this time with my camera, because i forgot to bring it when i went with thomas. : ) so FELYNA LEE, if you are still reading this blog, i shall upload videos of ET for you soon :D

BLUEINTENTIONS, i loved everything about their performance :) the blend, the harmony, the arrangements, the type of songs they're focusing on. everything :D oh then me and kai went to the chocolate bar to try their famous SUCKAO! :D tres sinful, tres fabulous! : ))

shall end off with the lyrics to my new earworm : ) Words by The Real Group, which was my favourite song at the Blue Intentions gig :D yes it beat Budak Pantai's song Pedra Branca :D

Words
A letter and a letter on a string
Will hold forever humanity spellbound

Words
Possession of the beggar and the king
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Regarded as a complicated tool
Created by man, implicated by mankind

Words
Obsession of the genius and the fool
Everybody, everyday,
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

Words
Transmitted as we're fitted from the start
Received by all and we're sentenced to a life with

Words
Impression of the stupid and the smart
Everybody, everyday
You and I, we all can say

Words
Inside your head can come alive as they're said
Softly, loudly, modestly or proudly

Words
Expression by the living and the dead
Everybody, everyday
Everywhere and everyway

Words!
Find them, you can use them
Say them, you can hear them
Write them, you can read them
Love them, fear them

love it, absolutely love it : )) this wkend has reminded me of my love of a cappella music! :D double p, double L!

on a complete sidenote, i don't like it when you care about things i don't want you to care about, and not care about the things i do want you to care about. i'm becoming overly dependent on you for i don't know what reason and that's bad because what's gonna happen when you're no longer there. and yes, i am disappointed in your jadedness in life. what happened to the old you i knew? uhoh, to quote keane, everybody's changing and i don't feel the same.

2009-04-09T01:19:00.002+08:00

postsecret therapy : ) it's been a rather eventful week. and i do wanna update about it, but yupp. just wanna let the week play itself out first, i guess. in other words, im just lazy. but there are so many random thoughts that cross my mind. i sometimes wish, i could just blog whatever i was thinking immediately. instead of having to come home and write it out again. : )

anw, i'll definitely blog more about the MUA3211 concert, but at the end of the week : ) in the meantime, i think i've changed my mind. Shall I Compare Thee is no longer my favourite song! : ) well it still is, but i am really beginning to love If Love's A Sweet Passion by Henry Purcell more : )

If love's a sweet passion why does it torment?
If a bitter, oh tell me, whence comes my content?
Since I suffer with pleasure, why should I complain,
or grieve at my fate, when I know it's in vain?
Yet so pleasing the pain is so soft as the dart,
That at once it both wounds me and tickles my heart.

i don't wanna graduate, i wanna learn more about philosophy, literature and sociology! : )))

and here's a small shoutout to my dearest zhorteng! :D LOVE YOU!

2009-04-04T20:21:00.003+08:00

a winter's tale.

how ironic is it that i went to watch a winter's tale, but it is SOOOOOOO goddammit hot right now! omg, i want to sit in my fridge, just so i stop melting. but yah, that would be impossible. i'll settle for a ticket to any cold country right now. does not help that serene toh li hui is right now in AUTUMN-ey perth! :D i am so jealous haha. i hope you read this ms toh, and bring back lots of tim tam for me and ah foo!

anyway :D A WINTER'S TALE, something i have been waiting for since NOVEMBER : ) still remember way back when the london gang went to watch avenueQ, baozhu suggested this play and it was SOOOO GOOD : ) albeit we were late because we came from class. but it was so good. i now know that if you're late, you can watch the show from the viewing room, which has such nice acoustics! and a great view of the stage. : )

so anyhow, the play was 2hrs 40mins long. we spent 35mins in the viewing room though haah : ) but was all worth it, because we got to see ETHAN HAWKE! haha :D who is so talented, he can act, he can sing, he can play the GUITAR! :( sighs.

the man himself :D

all of us at the post show carl's junior pig out session.

my darling xiaolongbao! who i have not hung out with in ages. : )

: )) it was fun. i felt like i was skipping school just to go have fun! hahaha. left chamber singers earlier, so managed to skip out on doing the LOVELY hallberg song. *CROSS FINGERS* hopefully it wont break down on monday : )

speaking of which,

CONSERVATORY CHAMBER SINGERS PRESENTS:
SONGS FROM SHAKESPEARE
YONG SIEW TOH CONSERVATORY CONCERT HALL
730PM
FREE ADMISSION : )

our final exam for MUA3211: CHAMBER SINGERS II. gosh, cant believe it's coming to an end again : (

alright, shall update about other stuff another time : )

2009-03-31T02:33:00.002+08:00

life in technicolor.

nobody means to hurt anyone,
but sometimes it just happens.
there's no difference between
forgiving someone in 3 days,
and forgiving someone in 6 mths,
it's all FORGIVENESS : )

: )) im done with all the emo-ing and the being upset over nothing. because as a good friend said to me recently, every minute you spend being upset, is a minute of happiness lost. : ) which is something i truly believe in. it was a whoa moment, like how come i'm not heeding my own advice, because that's what i totally would have told someone in my situation : )

so...

stop being a stupid friend michelle, friendship shouldn't have so many conditions. friendship doesn't need to be this difficult. and i love blogging so much : ) haha, whee. happy michelle is back :D

friendship and forgiveness, two things i shall hold onto for the year. :)

on that random note, hangzhou practices have started and i totally hate CREDO : ( but then i remember, that i didnt like Salve Regina that much when i first started learning it. oh god, please let me love credo soon.

alright last random thing, im going to see Ethan Hawke in A Winter's Tale in less than 12 hours :D :D :D i hope he magically runs off stage and to my seat and says HELLO : )

2009-03-29T13:34:00.002+08:00

trauma always leaves a scar.
it follows us home, it changes our lives.
trauma messes everybody up.
but maybe that's the point,
all the pain, and the fear and the crap,
maybe going through all that,
is what keeps us moving forward,
it's what pushes us.
maybe we have to get a little messed up,
before we can step up.

: )inflated expectations of friendship.

2009-03-29T01:58:00.003+08:00

call me irresponsible.

i hate cramps. they hate me. is there a way to remove cramps from your life! : ( urgh. okie 4 more days. and then byebye till next month :D

listening to michael buble helps slightly though. had absolutely no mood to enjoy the french dinner yesterday and confessions of a shopaholic. i think i might need to rewatch that movie, just because i was so out of it. but whoosh, i loved isla fisher! : ) she is perfect as rebecca bloomwood!

hopefully there'll be a sequel or something, so she can marry luke brandon and continue her crazy shopaholic shenanigans.

also had the CFA appreciation dinner thing yesterday! leo is so damn funny! i'll never forgot his panicked expression when he thought everyone pangsehed him. but seriously, had a rather cathartic chat with anirban about the entire spongebob family : ) extremely fun. :D

ahhaa all of us with our favourite cloudburst drum : )

on a completely random note, lady gaga is so weird. but the acoustic version of her song pokerface is really quite nice : )

2009-03-27T00:41:00.003+08:00

viva la vida.

managed to usher for two EXCELLENT concerts :D duffy and coldplay! my concert life is almost complete, i just need justin timberlake to realise he has to come to singapore to play a gig and i will happily retire from the indoor stadium : ))

really wow, i enjoyed both concert so much, i cant begin to describe. other than the part about being scolded by patrons, i love my job! : ) duffy's voice is SOOOOOOOOOOOO good, albeit if you listen to long, you might get a headache. but i love it : ) its so soulful and pure. and coldplay is just pure genius, pure EMOTIONAL WRECKING BALL GENIUS :D and i got to see the whole band upclose for 15 minutes, that is enough coldplay to last me a lifetime. : )

i have found a new band to listen to if i am ever in the mood to just be in an emotional slump :D COLDPLAY. : )

haha anyhow, didn't get to take any photos of the concert, because we would get fired but tadah! :D us with our COLDPLAY VIVA BAGS! :D i love it so much. : )

our pre-ushering fix of yoguru at kallang leisurepark.

damn hungry before the duffy concert!

on a sidenote. all this coldplay on loop is making me a tad emo. : ) i think about how things are now, and sighs. something's totally off in the emotional dimwitted sense. am so worried that soon, we are going to run out of common topics and that we drift apart. which is totally plausible and probably inevitable. sighs.

i hate this feeling. alot : (

2009-03-22T02:10:00.006+08:00

serendipity.

whoosh, just concert after another :D and 2 more to go : ) haha, but loving every minute of it. i love performing, and i love watching performances. : ) just got back from the NUSWS concert. :D not bad! i really liked the song Hymn to Infinite Sky or something, and Vesuvius. the rest were hmm, alright :D

didn't feel the chemistry of NUSWS this time round, within them or with their conductor. but i liked the one that their student conductor did, that's about it : ) still preferred their DaCapo concert last year. and i think our programme booklet, emcee and lights are nicer : ) muahahaha, but i am biased towards nuschoir for obvious reasons. but still loved it, nusws has helped me appreciate orchestra music more. :D

me and harris ang ping guo after our wonderful tunglok dinner. amidst the enjoyment, we were late for the concert AGAIN. : (

and WHEE :D i finally met youzhi :) hahaha, all astatinefamily must see this. youzhi is alive :D

alright, still havent posted the highlight of the week, which is Emily's Senior Recital :D hahaha, time consuming rehearsals, VERY avant garde work, crazy pitching and timings, but in the end it was fun : ) special mention goes out to xuefang who came down to watch us despite us telling her not to HAHA. am gonna miss singing emily's work : )

shall let the photos do the talking.

my favourite pose : ) all of us and xuefang!

hahah i took this artistic shot! :D lay on the YST floor for this.

the most successful jump shot, this is how lousy we are.

im gonna miss you 3! : ) harris gerald and rhoda, my fellow SATB chorus.

the SE2221 gang : )

all of us with ms khor ai ming :D the mezzo soprano lead.

hahha at our post-amplitude, emily recital rehearsal. we didnt even have time to change out of our costumes.

the performance itself! : )

me and dearest rhoda!

all of us with ms emily koh! : )

all in all, a really wonderful experience : ) huge thanks to emily for letting us be part of her big night! : ) she prepared a lovely post-show reception for everyone who performed and supported her la, so thoughtful.

alright, DUFFY and COLDPLAY up next :D time to study? NEVER.

they don't know us,
they think that we're ugly,
but i know we are beautiful,
and we can adapt in a hostile environment.

grey's is seriously teaching me life lessons.

2009-03-20T15:00:00.002+08:00

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession.
Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm.

once somebody sees you a certain way, they neglect everything else.

you don't give up on the ones you love, even when they try like hell to make you give up.

just thoughts that have been circling my head all friday.

2009-03-19T05:36:00.003+08:00

concert fever.

this is just one BAD week to lose my voice. everytime i think i'm getting it back, there's either class, or choir or a performance and then it's gone again : ( it was semi-back for Amplitude : ) but now i think it's going again. hopefully it'll be fine for emily's recital later today! :D haha im quite excited. but more on that later..

AMPLITUDE :D very fun chill out performance. finally, just hanging out with the darlings of nuschoir, singing old russia songs out in the hallway, not worrying about where everyone is. i mean, generally, there's still the "make sure everything's alright" tendancy, but yupp :D choir feels rather safe in khai & joy's hands :D i think hangzhou will be fantabulous.

definite favourite moment of the night, singing credo spontaneously out in the hallway. i really really miss russia! : ( and the extension trip afterwards and the people! : ( on that note, i really think i am not a good soprano at all. i have like a limited range of pretty notes haha. that's it. and all the soprano singing, has made my alto notes horrid. so i'm neither here nor there. HOW : (

okie back to happiness :D after the lovely performance, rhoda harris gerald and i rushed over to Yong Siew Toh. luckily its just next door to UCC. we were SOOOOO late for emily's recital rehearsal. by the time we reached, we only had 10 minutes to rehearse. :( but emily assured us that we were fine. I SERIOUSLY HOPE SO. if not we'll throw our faces tmr night during her graduation recital : (

HA. we were so late, emily said rush over without changing. so TADA. nuschoir representation at the YST hall : ) the SATB chorus with the composer herself. oh and did i mention, the MEZZO soloist emily asked to sing for her composition is MS KHOR AI MING! my ex-voice teacher : )) such a small world.

alright, emily's recital tonight :D NUSWS concert sat, DUFFY on sun, and most importantly!!!!!!

SERENE, XUEFANG AND I ARE GOING TO COLDPLAY on mon! :D

2009-03-17T00:44:00.005+08:00

sunday morning.

its been a rather horrible weekend, lost my voice on friday, fell sick on saturday, rested whole of sunday, only to realise that i havent studied for my tests on monday. OH WELL, but i still found time to go meet my dearest mings and kai : ) who never fail to put a smile on my face. after a week of horrid presentations, we went to watch DISNEY ON ICE! :D at the singapore indoor stadium. haha. : )

bought the balcony seats for ming's bday, but relocated ourselves to the terrace level HAHA : ) am totally exploiting my job at the indoor stadium. but oh well, : )

i dunno how they did it, but they lit the ICE on fire :D very very cool.

my dearest mings and kai! : ))

them with the backdrop during intermission!

our birthday present to ming!

the 3 of us! : )) i look damn cui. urgh.

haha : ) oh well, anw couldnt decide where to eat, so somehow we ended up at the airport :D getting excited about possible GRAD trip plans! :D thank you girls, hope our grad trip materializes :D

slept ALOT this past weekend, but the throat still feels rubbishy. hopefully it recovers in time for amplitude and emily's final recital : ) quite excited about both actually. although im getting sick of our amplitude songs. i want to learn our hangzhou songs NOW NOW NOW : )))

on that note, i realised that it doesnt matter whether i am busy with nuschoir or not, my studies ARE always not my priority. : ) this is bad, because now i have no excuse to be bad at my studies.